At Loki’s Hands, Pt 1: Tapped
In my announcement post, I mentionded I intend to post four drawings for Loki this month. So, that is basically what this series titled “At Loki’s Hands” is: it consists of four drawings, the first of which is attached to this post. Each of the drawings depicts something about Loki that was important to me during the past year—one drawing for each quarter of the year gone by.
This first one is called “Tapped“—and as the title suggests, indeed one year ago I was a freshly tapped new devotee to Loki, Whom I have come to love more than I ever thought I could someone so different from myself. A God. If I think about it today, the sheer magnitude of what happened almost scares me. The way I have come on this path since the late spring, and early summer of 2012 I’m utterly unable to describe.
I was newly tapped by Loki, hoping and fearing at the same time, that He was there to stay. I won’t go into details how it happened; as far as the “tappings” of that particular period go, I was nothing remarkable. My first few months with Loki, were, to be perfectly frank, uncomfortable. I was reading a lot online, both primary literature (the Eddas and some of the Sagas), as well as scholars’ works about Him, and certain blogs.
And what I read, throughout the spectrum, scared and fascinated me in almost equal measure. I didn’t know and I feared what would happen to me, and to my life, if I was to invite Him. I didn’t know how to learn more about Him, how to get to know Him. In all honesty, those first weeks were steeped in wariness and lack of trust—on my part, of course. Not only trust in what I was reading, as that became ever more and more complicated the longer I thought about it and the longer I kept doing it. No, it was especially trust in Him that did not come easy to me.
I was lucky to have an encouraging friend who supported my first forays and suggested I make an offering and see what would happen. I was especially lucky that Loki didn’t mind nudging me again and again, and I was unbelievably lucky that He found the right words at one particular point during the first few weeks, when I had all but decided all this, the seeking, the loving, and the hurting, wasn’t for me.
He told me that whatever path I would go on, it would work for me, not against me. And of course, those were words full of unspoken meaning, but I was aware of that, too. It was slow, at first, so slow. And Loki would always go first; He’d show me things He wanted me to see, and that would slowly open me for a more intimate, a more personal relationship with Him.
The image below shows Loki’s hands, His right as He literally taps my shoulder. I have kept the line of the shoulder itself sketchy, nothing more than a curved line, as it is Him that I want to focus on, and Him that I want the viewer to focus on. The shoulder could belong to anyone, and everyone who found themselves in the situation.
In His other hand, Loki is holding an apple—as I slowly got to know Him better, I learned that He loves them in almost all combinations. The first time I had that kind of certainty that He was pleased by my offering, it was when I made Him some apple with raisins, golden syrup and oat flakes. For a while, I would give Him a quarter of the apple I ate for breakfast, to go along with His espresso. And while it has nothing to do with how the apple came to be in this picture, the connotations of revelations, of gaining knowledge, and of course of temptation, add a little something to it.
Hail Loki, my Awakener, my Seducer, my Chaser.
At Loki’s Hands, Pt 1: Tapped
About the image: pencil and coloured pencil. Used my own hands as reference, no photo reference used.